Maybe a few items fall out of the back of the van:
I'll tell you a #TrueStory about theft. I worked in the electronics department at K-Mart when the movie Titanic came out on VHS (!!!) and that's not really relevant to the story except to show how some people here have been hanging on to this #KMartDave thing. Bhops even expressed his disappointment that I'm wasting my life "pushing trolleys" and it's not that I'm not wasting my life but I don't "push trolleys!" In fact my job is scraping chewing gum off the wheels so they will roll straight.
#Anyway so I did like working in electronics. I sold entertainment products including CD's and stereos so I got to spend time doing things I sort of liked doing. I also got to size people up immediately when they were looking at a stereo and see if they were a "Garth Brooks" or a "Lauryn Hill." Those were the CD's I used to demonstrate the sounds.
So we also sold movies, like I said, and I was friendly with the distributor and she would give me promo items because I was really trying to sell those movies. Other people were sentenced to stocking shelves and I got to sell games, cd's and movies plus my manager was really cool and at the time I smoked a lot of marijuana and would come to work high and she didn't care because we made each other laugh. Usually I thought I hid it but one day she knew and after that she would look at me to sort of judge if she could tell.
We're getting to the point though. So we had to wear these vests and we had lockers but they never gave me a lock for my locker. There were people that had been there for twenty years and hated life and I guess they could tell I would probably not make it a career. (Shhhh!)
The movie lady would give me little cardboard standees I think they're called for new movies, but she would also give me these buttons/badges that went with the movies. We were probably supposed to change the buttons so we always had just the latest movie but I collected them and had about a six on my vest.
So... one day I come to work and go to my unlocked locker and my vest with the buttons is gone! We had to wear one so I found a different one and wore that and just thought it was strange but whatever.
A few days went by and this woman who worked there who was about 55 comes in the break room and #TheBitch is wearing MY VEST with my buttons!
I wanted to snatch it off of her because it was obviously mine. It was an XL to start with and plus it was mine. She hardly even worked in that department. But I didn't do anything right then because I have this trait where I will think something like that is funny and then I might suddenly be saying things that would get me fired. So instead I told the manager of my department. She said "are you suuuuure?" Looking at me like "how many bonghits did he take before he came up with this?" But then she said not to do anything and she would deal with it. And the next day my vest with all my buttons was back in my locker. The lady who'd been wearing it should have been a spy because she just went on like nothing ever happened. You know lots of people would try to "explain" but she just acted like nothing. And I said thank you to the manager and we didn't talk about it again.
Now vegan cro and Born to Harangue can obsess over this for the next twenty-five years!