"Open" situations...


New Member
Yesterday on Tyra, they had a show related to Open Marriages. The show, Secret Lives of Women had a subject related to this too. It was kind of interesting to note the age-range of the couples involved. Wow...

Not sounding perverted here but, I'm kind of interested what people's views are on this subject....

If you want your marriage to be more communal-like w/ sex w/ others (like swingers too) why even bother to be committed to one person & walk down the aisle, declaring your love devoted to this ONE person for the rest of your life? Why bother to even have a wedding, unless both parties agree?

What do you all think?

Bee's Knees

Junior Member
I think a relationship is a lot of hard work and that bringing other people into it sounds like an insurmountable chore. It's a fun thing to think about but in reality I imagine it would be a nightmare.


I have known a couple of couple's now with open marriages and I agree; why bother getting married, isn't that about commiting yourself to one partner for life?
How easy that is is another matter. I've been reading that sex advice column that chica linked to recently (it's brilliant! :)) and it's pretty plain there are a lot of weird and wonderful relationships out there that work for people.
I think the jealousy would be very hard to deal with, unless you were EXTREMELY thick-skinned.


The ins and outs of relationships and other people's dirty laundry bores me to death.I just don't care.If people want open relationships good luck to them.Its neither good or bad.It just is.
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Zelda Zonk

New Member
I have friends who have had to enter into an open marriage. Thinking it would help to heal their relationship. Complicated. But in a nut-shell: at the premise they were both all for it. Then she decided against it and didn't want to live like that. He went ahead and did it anyway. They are now getting divorced.
Now they are both seeing other people, but still continue to see each other.

In theory, it sounds great. But I can't imagine that it wouldn't bring some kind of mental pain.


New Member
I agree w/ you, Pregnant For The Last Time b/c it is only one part of the relationship.

The show just included from the audience members on how it's strange even initially how to get people involved when it comes to terms of morality & the committment of getting married itself.

It was interesting to note when these open-marriage partners spoke, how some were SO non-chalant on how they took the seriousness of a marriage to one partner only.

The traditionalists were on the opposite end of the spectrum...

Hey, do what you like...it is your life, soul & passion.


well, maybe I am
In theory, it sounds great. But I can't imagine that it wouldn't bring some kind of mental pain.

From what I experienced and saw around me, there's a huge difference between couples who were monogamist at first and then switched, and couples how started their relationship as an open one. I think the switching is usually made when the couple has problems as it is, and often one partner wants it more than the other. No wonder people end up getting hurt. On the other hand, if two people share a view on open relationship, and choose to get into it for reasons other than trying to save a sinking ship, it can really work.

I used to know couple it works for (8 years together at the time), another couple who are together for almost 20 years now (plus 3 children), a few more younger couples, and it worked well for Simone de Beauvoir and Jean Paul Sartre :)


New Member
I agree with you, Elizabeth. I mean, having an open marriage is like dirtying the very sacred vows of being with your chosen one for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Marriage to me is being taken VERY seriously and I think people who opt for open marriages are only looking for an excuse to fool around with other people. I don't agree with it at all!:mad:


Why Me?
If you want to bang around, then just date. I don't see the point of entering any commitment, whether it be a legal one such as marriage, or a mutual one such as a relationship if you want other people. Just see each other and do what you do in your spare time without that extra burden of having a commitment to worry about.
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