I have never really appreciated unsolicited advice.
I don't "take" it.
I don't take orders, either.
I will seek out things I need to know.
And as far as orders go, I've been running my own little show for ages and I will continue to do so.
I don't get off on being bossy, and I certainly won't allow someone to boss me around.
There are some females in my sphere that fancy themselves as foremen. They like to tell others what to do.
Now, any of you that have read more than a paragraph or two of my blogs over the years will know exactly how this strikes me! Not very well at all!
A few weeks ago, there were two women in my house for what seemed like an eternity. In reality, it was only a few hours. A few hours in hell.
We decide to order Chinese for dinner.
They say they want KA-shoe chicken, (cashew, for those of us who know how to pronounce it!)
I'm on the phone, calling in the order, and whilst speaking to the person on the other end, one of those mispronouncing the word, keeps repeating it in a volume just loud enough to cancel out my voice.
This is violating TWO principles, I simply cannot tolerate it! One is correcting one's speech or grammar.
The other is speaking when someone else is on the phone. And, to make a finer point about correcting, you need to be pretty damn sure you're right when correcting someone else publicly, or privately, for that matter. But, to do it in front of someone AND be wrong is just vile. How humiliating for them! And of course, my position would be compromised if I were to condescend and break my own rules and say something about it, so I remain quiet for this display. I quietly saw red.
THEN...
Oh yes, someone else does it!
A fetus no older than my oldest son comes over to bring her son to play with Thomas. Now, I have previously gotten on with her just fine. She is a mental midget, but, never mind, so is half the planet.
I was doing the dishes and commented in passing that I'd failed to rinse the pan that I'd made the cous-cous in. "the what?" it says. So I repeat it for her, assuming she's never heard of it.
"cuss cuss, " it says.
"cous-cous." says I.
"cuss cuss, " it has the audacity to insist at me.
"That's not what I said, and if you EVER correct me again, you will get fast tracked to my shit list."
It laughs.
It must think I'm joking.
So, I relay the above mentioned story about KA-shoe chicken. I outline it is an unforgivable transgression in my world to correct someone, especially if they are your senior. Then, I outline that it's even worse to be wrong and yet, immovably insistent.
And then I chastised her for forcing me to commit a social faux-pas in correcting her rudeness.
Since I was on such a role, telling truths and setting people straight, (MY GOD IT FEELS FANTASTIC!!!!)
I went ahead and told a few more people some home truths.
I didn't know at the time what could have possibly possessed me to do something so utterly out of character. (I did figure out the next day that it must have been estrogen. It usually is when I wax all brash and bold like that!)
Now, once upon a time, in America, I was very outspoken and took no shit nor prisoners. But, I was a different person then. I just don't start stuff.
I'll finish it. But I don't start it.
And I have NEVER approved of ANY social behaviour that causes another embarrassment or to be uncomfortable at all. I know we all fall short of our own ideals about conduct from time to time without knowing it, but I won't ever consciously try to make someone feel bad or belittle them in any way.
Unless, of course, they're just begging me to.
If someone pushes and blatantly demands that someone restore their self-awareness, I'll oblige.
But, I won't do it without coercion.
I think people may suggest things sometimes and not necessarily mean to come off as giving advice or being bossy, but I just happen to know that these particular people are very keen on giving orders just for the sake of giving orders. Like, it gets them off in some way, or something. Getting to pretend to be in charge must be such a rush for simple minds.
I don't get this. It screams insecurity, low-self-worth, possible past victimization, the kind of personalities that become cops in order to bully society because they themselves have been bullied. I don't like people who want to control others. I am suspicious of them on every level. I think everyone should self-govern and I honestly don't want to be around people who need someone else to manage them. Self-govern, or get consequences. No one should really require being told what to do. The notions of right and wrong, adherence to the law, and a certain level of politeness, you should be good to go. I don't need an overseer.
It is my opinion that what we do when no one else can see is who we are. I always do a good job when I am working on something. Not because I am afraid someone will find out if I didn't. But because I would know I hadn't done my best. My conscience is plenty to keep me in line. I am already bossing myself around, adding a conflicting voice to the mix is redundant.
I don't think I'm being contrary, either. I always know when I have found a superior and yield in such circumstances. I just can't stomach being expected to genuflect at a moron.
I don't "take" it.
I don't take orders, either.
I will seek out things I need to know.
And as far as orders go, I've been running my own little show for ages and I will continue to do so.
I don't get off on being bossy, and I certainly won't allow someone to boss me around.
There are some females in my sphere that fancy themselves as foremen. They like to tell others what to do.
Now, any of you that have read more than a paragraph or two of my blogs over the years will know exactly how this strikes me! Not very well at all!
A few weeks ago, there were two women in my house for what seemed like an eternity. In reality, it was only a few hours. A few hours in hell.
We decide to order Chinese for dinner.
They say they want KA-shoe chicken, (cashew, for those of us who know how to pronounce it!)
I'm on the phone, calling in the order, and whilst speaking to the person on the other end, one of those mispronouncing the word, keeps repeating it in a volume just loud enough to cancel out my voice.
This is violating TWO principles, I simply cannot tolerate it! One is correcting one's speech or grammar.
The other is speaking when someone else is on the phone. And, to make a finer point about correcting, you need to be pretty damn sure you're right when correcting someone else publicly, or privately, for that matter. But, to do it in front of someone AND be wrong is just vile. How humiliating for them! And of course, my position would be compromised if I were to condescend and break my own rules and say something about it, so I remain quiet for this display. I quietly saw red.
THEN...
Oh yes, someone else does it!
A fetus no older than my oldest son comes over to bring her son to play with Thomas. Now, I have previously gotten on with her just fine. She is a mental midget, but, never mind, so is half the planet.
I was doing the dishes and commented in passing that I'd failed to rinse the pan that I'd made the cous-cous in. "the what?" it says. So I repeat it for her, assuming she's never heard of it.
"cuss cuss, " it says.
"cous-cous." says I.
"cuss cuss, " it has the audacity to insist at me.
"That's not what I said, and if you EVER correct me again, you will get fast tracked to my shit list."
It laughs.
It must think I'm joking.
So, I relay the above mentioned story about KA-shoe chicken. I outline it is an unforgivable transgression in my world to correct someone, especially if they are your senior. Then, I outline that it's even worse to be wrong and yet, immovably insistent.
And then I chastised her for forcing me to commit a social faux-pas in correcting her rudeness.
Since I was on such a role, telling truths and setting people straight, (MY GOD IT FEELS FANTASTIC!!!!)
I went ahead and told a few more people some home truths.
I didn't know at the time what could have possibly possessed me to do something so utterly out of character. (I did figure out the next day that it must have been estrogen. It usually is when I wax all brash and bold like that!)
Now, once upon a time, in America, I was very outspoken and took no shit nor prisoners. But, I was a different person then. I just don't start stuff.
I'll finish it. But I don't start it.
And I have NEVER approved of ANY social behaviour that causes another embarrassment or to be uncomfortable at all. I know we all fall short of our own ideals about conduct from time to time without knowing it, but I won't ever consciously try to make someone feel bad or belittle them in any way.
Unless, of course, they're just begging me to.
If someone pushes and blatantly demands that someone restore their self-awareness, I'll oblige.
But, I won't do it without coercion.
I think people may suggest things sometimes and not necessarily mean to come off as giving advice or being bossy, but I just happen to know that these particular people are very keen on giving orders just for the sake of giving orders. Like, it gets them off in some way, or something. Getting to pretend to be in charge must be such a rush for simple minds.
I don't get this. It screams insecurity, low-self-worth, possible past victimization, the kind of personalities that become cops in order to bully society because they themselves have been bullied. I don't like people who want to control others. I am suspicious of them on every level. I think everyone should self-govern and I honestly don't want to be around people who need someone else to manage them. Self-govern, or get consequences. No one should really require being told what to do. The notions of right and wrong, adherence to the law, and a certain level of politeness, you should be good to go. I don't need an overseer.
It is my opinion that what we do when no one else can see is who we are. I always do a good job when I am working on something. Not because I am afraid someone will find out if I didn't. But because I would know I hadn't done my best. My conscience is plenty to keep me in line. I am already bossing myself around, adding a conflicting voice to the mix is redundant.
I don't think I'm being contrary, either. I always know when I have found a superior and yield in such circumstances. I just can't stomach being expected to genuflect at a moron.
