Morrissey's Ex-Best Friends: Where Are They Now?

[Chill -- AKA Will Never Reproduce]

It's not nice to make fun of body dysmorphic type disorders, but Jesus. Why, Pete Burns, why? You were a fairly good-looking dude, even with the makeup. You're a damn ugly woman. Sorry, babe, it had to be said. Although, I must say, your lipstick choices have improved ever so slightly. I'm glad to see you've shelved the high frost pastels. Good on ya. Next time, make it the collagen.




If there are kids about, cover their eyes. For the love of God. Seriously.

 

[Chill -- AKA Will Never Reproduce]

Wow. That was meaner than I meant it to be.

Sorry Pete. I actually think you're quite a funny guy and I love Dead or Alive.

(Why the f*** am I writing like I think he's actually going to read this?)

 

[suzanne]

Re: Wow. That was meaner than I meant it to be.

> (Why the f*** am I writing like I think he's actually going to read this?)

because Murphy's Law dictates that this will be the one day in his entire lifetime that he's ever going to say, "hmmm...is it true that morrissey has a new album? maybe this morrissey-solo website will tell me"

and you, being the only person in the entire history of his career who ever said anything negative about him will stand out like a glitter piece of pyrite in the hills. he will then exclaim, "oh god! my life is a sham!" and then two days later, the CNN website will have an unfortunate story about how Pete Burns drove his car off a cliff.

and at his funeral, his grieving mother (who had already lost all of her other children to unfortunate circumstances) will cry, "dear god...will they take all from me?" and Pete's uncle will give a eulogy and say, "we don't know what caused it because the Pete I knew was the happiest and most untainted man in the universe. he gave his time to the dying children and saved puppies from being euthenized, but he was misunderstood by others in this world....persons who didnt understand his makeup techniques...but i say to them, can you sleep at night?"

 

[Chill -- AKA Will Never Reproduce]

Man, now I really feel like shit. Thanks, Suzanne.

Petey, sweetie, I'm sorry!

 

[suzanne]

Re: Man, now I really feel like shit. Thanks, Suzanne.

> Petey, sweetie, I'm sorry!

i was just kidding!

pete burns looks like a man that doesn't give a shit!

 

[Chill -- AKA Will Never Reproduce]

Re: Man, now I really feel like shit. Thanks, Suzanne.

I know he doesn't. He's a hoot in interviews. He justifies his plastic surgery thusly: the world needs freaks and it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

 

[Speed]

Re: Man, now I really feel like shit. Thanks, Suzanne.

And I thought Michael Jackson was nuts!