G
george
Guest
My life is a mess. I used to be pretty. But my body and brain was distroed when I was just 16 years old when I was forced on to some very powerful drugs. I don't know why I am telling you this. I put on over 5 stone very quikly this was very hard to take for a 16 year old I also felt dummed down by the drugs. I am a very shy person really. I have never had a partner. I am very lonely and no one understands because it didn't happen to them.It happened to me I also started producing milk from my breasts another side effect from the drug.This is very personal to me. You don't want to know. I cry about it every night. I am a very shy and quiet person. I just get carried away some times it is like saying I exist! I cry for all the missing wasted years. I cry for my poor violated body and mind.I don't have a job. I am an out cast. I have been a vegetarian since I was 16 years old!! I have gone on slimming pills. Fasted for days on just water. I go swimming, cycling, gym anything to loss weight to try and get back to what I WAS. i WISH i WAS 15 AGAIN every day. I go on detoxes, sanas. I live on fruit. I think I have tryed every diet under the sun. I have gone vegan and macrobiotic. I just want to be small and very thin that is all. I do not have a problem with Johnny Marr I really like him and I will always love music no matter what.I used to be a very creative person. I just feel I don't look right. I just want to look like me again!!! before the drugs. I hate the way I look. I can't spell very well please forgive me. The drugs made me lose confidence in my own intelligence. I love English but I can't spell very well. It is hard being sooooooo shy. My Daddy called JOHN born in the same year as John Winston Lennon 1940 in the 2nd world war left me when I was 2 years old.I was very attractive back then with really blonde hair!!!! would you believe it.I had very blonde hair until I was five and then it got darker. My Dad was a complet bastard to my Mum to me and my sisters and he smoked loads of cigarets!! My Mum didn't really bring me up either. I WAS brought up by my lovely Grandma and Grandad who were my Mum's parents. I never smoke, drink or take any drugs believe me I have seen the harm these things do to people!!! perhaps this is also why I have never had a boyfriend because I have seen my very beautiful, intelligent mother go through so many boyfriends and I have seen so many broken and distructive relationships and I have seen so many cats and people die. Everybody f***s everyone else, everyone dies and everyones on drugs and I don't want any part of it. I also can't drive a car but then neither can my Dad JOHN. My Dad was completly persud bythis woman when I was two years old she went off to Greece with my Dad on a buisness trip they ended up by having a child together and my Dad went off with her,she left my Dad in the end and my Dad ended up having a heart attack and became diabetic she also stopped my Dad from paying any mantanance they also stole money off my Mum everything went on theirnew child. Me and my sisters got nothing.My Dad is a weak man. He used to smoke so much.It all went through the cours the money isus but my mum was left with nothing I saw how my Dad broke my Mums heart. Luckerly my Mum is a very strong beautiful and intelligent woman. She is also very critical, controling,a nagger and bossy she will not suffer fools. I am no way near as strong and capable as my Mum. I was brought up by my Mum's parents my Grandma and Grandad born in 1909ad has died now. I have told you loads of really personal things. There is a hole lot more I could tell you about but this has probaly board you long enough. God bless and take good care. I will even tell you my real name if you like. from, a sad and lonley,music loveing 23 year old.I know I am a wast of space.I wish I was really quick.
